Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
