What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
