barbara walters just said penis...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
