yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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