Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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