cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
