I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
