he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
