i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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