Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
