He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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