That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have post one night stand depression
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