also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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