her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
