she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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