I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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