I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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