I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Mom said you looked used
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
His nipple licking is glorious
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