Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
