Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
