I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
