So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
