i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
