worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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