dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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