Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
