Having a random hookup so left but love u
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
