I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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