I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
