Buhtt sex?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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