Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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