Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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