Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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