I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
