p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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