Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize