a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
