Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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