another moral hangover. fuck.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
