I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
