they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
