My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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