Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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