I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
