So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
