butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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