Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sorry about my life...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
