My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
