New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just cropdusted the office
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
