OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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