a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize