Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
