Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
