Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
