It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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