this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
