When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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