just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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