Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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