Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
