if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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